Never Go Back
by Vampyric-pixie
Summary: Ichigo and Renji are in love. But Renji can't stay forever. Before he leaves, he gives Ichigo something he'll never forget. Warning, IchixRenji.
1. Chapter 1

Alone in his room sat Kurosaki Ichigo, his two sisters arguing at his bedroom door. A knock at his window causes a smile to spring to his face. He quietly opens the window allowing the tall red head into his room. His sisters press their ears against the door at the thought of someone in their brothers room. Silence. The two men just look at each other as the arguing begins outside between the two girls. Footsteps sound walking towards the stairs away from the boys room. Slowly the arms of the red head find their way around the young man's waist in a tight embrace. Ichigo rests his head back against Renji as a smile forms on this lips. Renji presses his lips against his sweet berry's.

Yuzu screams and then giggles as Ichigo turns his head to look at his sister. The young girl giggles continue as Ichigo's face fills with a strawberry red. The man behind him slowly removed his arms and looks at the young girl.

"Ichi-nii?" The young girls eyes wide with wander as she glances between her brother and the red head.

"I...I... We... I... Can explain..." stammered Ichigo as he steps away from the other man "We... I... I tripped and Renji here... Caught me..."

"Y...Yes... Yes that's it... he fell... Then I slipped..." Splutters the red head with a sly smile.

"OK... I just thought you might want tea..." smiles the young girl. She begins to giggle as the red head moves his arms around the young man's waist not thinking that the girl would notice. She links her hands behind her back "Don't worry Ichi-nii, I wont tell dad that you "fell" for Renji..." the girl giggles and runs off.

Ichigo slowly moves to his door and checks nobody else is around, he locks the door and walks back to Renji, he wraps his arms around the tall man's neck and kisses his chin softly. Gently he rests his head against the shoulder of the taller man, Renji's strong arms around the waist of the young man to relax. Renji rests his forehead against the orange headed boy.

"I love you..." Whispers the red head. He plants a soft kiss on Ichigo's lips. After a while Renji pulls back from the kiss and looks into the other man's eyes.

A knock at the door stops the two from continuing, the knock echo's after a while forcing the younger man to jump back. Ichigo walks to the door only to be knocked down by the door bursting open and his father pouncing at him.

"Ichigo! You should tell me when you have guests!" Burst the older Kurosaki.

"I need to tell you shit! Yuzu!" the boy growls as the young girl peers through the door, she smiles at her brother and the red head.

"Yes Ichi-nii?"

"Why is he here?!" yells the strawberry pointing an accusing finger at his father.

"He wanted to know what you were doing..." giggles the girl as she sees a shade of pink appearing in Renji's face "I told him you were with a friend so he ran up to investigate..." Ichigo sighs with relief in sync with Renji.

"Well you can both see I have company... LEAVE!" the teenager yells pushing his father and younger sister out of the door re-locking it and pushing a bookcase in front of the door of added security. After ensuring that the two will not be disturbed without a lot of trouble he makes his way back to the red head, his arms finding their way can around the neck of the man as a soft kiss is placed on his lips.

Renji pulls the teen closer deepening the kiss, his tongue slipping into familiar territory, savouring the feel, the taste, the touch of his strawberry. His hands travelling the boy's body, taking in everything. Renji only sees his love, his berry, HIS Ichigo. At that moment all he needed was to remember his Ichigo, the feel and taste of the boy he loved.

With slight hesitation Ichigo pulls back to catch his breath, he presses his head against the other man's chest.

"Finally I have you to myself..." whispers the red head as he raises the strawberry's head "My little Berry..."

"Teme... Be quiet..." Ichigo presses his lips against the soft lips of his lover. Renji's lips warming his soul. "When do you have to leave next?"

Renji pulls away from Ichigo and sits on the window ledge, his face no longer soft but serious, his face stiffening. It is obvious from the look in his eyes that the red head has been hurt.

"Baka... Why can't you let us get close before pushing me away?! Don't you want me here or do I mean so little to you?!"

"Renji... I..."

"Don't... Ichigo... Just DONT!" with that Renji jumps form the window and vanished without a second glance.

"Renji... I'm sorry... I love you..." Whispers Ichigo as he slumps into a chair. The boy rests against the chair and watches the little orange plushie as he crawls from under the bed and sits on the floor in front of him.

"Tell him that... not me... and why him?"

"I wasn't talking to you... you perverted plushie... leave me alone!" Ichigo hides his face in his hands and growls, he walks out of his room and down the stairs. He runs past his family hoping they don't see his face or feel his presence, he runs out of the front door and towards Urahara's shop in search of Renji.

Ichigo runs through the doors of Urahara's shop and looks around, desperation in his eyes.

"Renji! Renji are you here?!" he yells running from room to room in Urahara's shop.

"Ichigo... Renji is downstairs training with the manager..." the words barely escape the child's mouth and Ichigo runs down the steps to the basement.

Ichigo gets to the bizarre basement and smiles as his eyes land on Renji. He runs to the Shinigami and jumps on him pinning him to the ground. Ichigo runs his hand across Renji's cheek and kisses him passionately.

"Ichigo... What the...?" Renji splutters pulling back from the teenager as best he can. "Why did you?"

"Renji... I love you... I don't want you to go... I never want you to go..." he kisses the red head again "and I don't care who knows!"

Renji wraps his arms tightly around the younger man's waist pressing his lips firmly against Ichigo's. He rolls the boy over and pins him to the ground kissing him passionately and without warning. Ichigo raises his head deepening the kisses and drawing the man closer. He wraps his arms and legs around Renji's body. Ichigo lengthens the kisses savouring every touch, every kiss. Renji presses his body against Ichigo's, his eyes glance at a shadow above their heads, he looks up at the man towering over them. Ichigo kisses Renji, his eyes closed, completely unaware of the presence with them.

Urahara glances at the men and lowers himself to Ichigo's face, a smirk on his face as he looks at the young mans face.

"Ichigo... why are you here?" He stifles a laugh.

"Urahara-san... I..." Ichigo opens his eyes and hides himself under Renji "I need Renji to come with me... He has some unfinished business..." Ichigo pushes Renji to his feet and stands.

"OK... come back when your done.."

Ichigo slowly takes Renji's hand, he links his fingers with the older man's before leading Renji up the ladder and out of Urahara's shop.

Renji releases Ichigo's hand as they walk through town towards the Kurosaki residence. As they walk through the door into the main living area Ichigo nods to his family and leads Renji to his bedroom, fully aware of the fact that his father is sulking around behind them. Following.

As Renji enters the boys room and Ichigo closes the door on his father, he locks the door and runs to Renji, wrapping his arms around his neck and kissing him deeply.

"Ichigo... Why did you come to Urahara's?" whispers the red head as he rests his head against Ichigo's shoulder.

"I didn't want to lose you... I didn't want you to leave on a bad note.."

"Strawberry... I have to leave eventually... It's the rules, you know I would rather be here with you... if I could only have it my way..."

Ichigo presses his lips against Renji's pushing him onto the bed and undoing his shirt, as Renji tries to speak Ichigo deepens the kiss and removes his shirt. Renji fights back breathing heavily as he removes Ichigo's top, the fear of being caught only makes the situation more intense and passionate. Ichigo presses his lips firmly against the red head's and wraps his arms and legs around Renji. His hand slowly running down the red heads bare back and under the waist band of his trousers.

Ichigo licks down Renji's neck as the taller man rolls on top of him. Toying with the zip of Ichigo's jeans. Renji trembles with excitement as Ichigo kisses along his collar bone. Renji lifts the boy's head and presses his lips longingly against his Strawberry's, his tongue sneaking past the soft lips of the young man. Slowly Ichigo pulls away panting to catch his breath.

Renji presses his lips firmly against Ichigo's and undoes the button on his jeans. He began kissing softly down his chest and perfectly toned stomach. Slowly he slides the zip of the Strawberry's jeans down, Ichigo shudders and sits up. He pulls Renji's head to meet his own and presses his lips desperately against the older man's.

Gently Ichigo runs his hands down past the waist band of the older man's trousers, tugging at them as he kisses down his neck. Renji shivers pulling Ichigo's jeans down slightly, his hands running around the new found territory. The young man breaths heavily groaning as he lays down, Renji leans over Ichigo, his legs straddling the boy. Ichigo moves his hands to the firm ass of the older man and squeezes it. He bites his lower lip and kisses Renji passionately.

"I want you..." Ichigo groans slightly as he kisses Renji's neck.

"I know..." Renji shakes uncontrollably at his lovers every touch. His excitement building up.

Ichigo rolls over pinning Renji to the bed and tugging his trousers down, he kisses down Renji's body, tracing his fingers around every one of his tattoos. Renji shakes with pleasure as Ichigo's fingers get lower, he kisses Ichigo's forehead before laying down and groaning with pleasure. Renji attempts to move his body away from Ichigo's fingers, a soft blush on his cheeks. Ichigo traces his fingers down the mans body and slowly makes his way to the crotch area, a smile appears on his lips and he kisses his lover passionately.

Ichigo slowly kisses down Renji's tattoos and to his crotch, slowly he takes Renji's trousers off dropping them on the floor with his shirt, he slides his hands down the waist band of Renji's underwear and kisses his abdomen, smiling uncontrollably. Slowly he slides Renji's boxers off. Ichigo slides his hands down to the bare crotch of his lover, he grasps his shaft and kisses his lover desperately pressing his body against the other man's as he moves his hand slowly while kissing Renji. Renji moans with pleasure and kisses Ichigo, his arms wrapping around the younger man's neck drawing him closer. Renji removes the younger man's jeans throwing them across the room kissing him passionately, he slides his hands down the young man's underwear and kisses down his neck, Ichigo murmurs in pleasure as Renji's fingers slowly run across the strawberry's crotch. Renji smirks at the size of the boy and kisses his shoulder softly.

"Do you really want this Strawberry?" he kisses the boys neck lightly.

The reply he gets back was not words but a quiet moan, the young man kisses Renji softly and presses his body against the other man's. Renji slowly turns Ichigo onto his stomach and kisses the back of his neck and down his spine slowly. Renji runs his hands slowly down Ichigo's back, he removes a hand from the man's body and opens the boy's bedside table, he removes the lube from his drawer.

Ichigo tilts his head slightly and looks out of the window while his lover fumbles around in the drawer, the thoughts in his head were none of worry or concern but of love and passion, he wanted to be one with his lover, to feel his lover inside of him. As Renji slowly inserts a single finger into Ichigo's ass, the boy winces slightly but moans in subtle pleasure as Renji begins to move his finger inside the boy. After a few minutes of Renji moving his finger inside of the boy another finger is inserted, Ichigo squirms with pleasure as Renji moves his fingers in a scissor type motion inside of Ichigo's ass.

Renji smiles softly at his lovers motions and kisses the back of his neck as he removes his fingers from the strawberry's ass, he covers himself in lube and guides his shaft into his lovers ass, he kisses the back of his neck as he grips his lovers hips. He begins to thrust against his lovers movements. Ichigo begins to scream slightly into his pillow as Renji begins to move faster. Renji realizes his lovers screams and slows down almost to a stop, he kisses the back of Ichigo's neck and runs his hands down the boys sides before placing them firmly on his hips. He presses himself against the boys ass and kisses his neck, as he presses deeper into the boy, he pressed against 'that spot' as his lover screams in pleasure. Renji moves a hand from his strawberry's hip and grasps his dick, he begins to move his hand in a soft pulling motion, Ichigo's screams become louder as he covers his head with his pillow, the boy comes all over his lover's hand and his sheets. Hearing his lover's screams, he came inside the young boy moaning.

Renji removes himself from his lover and wraps his strong arms around the boy kissing his neck. Ichigo relaxes into Renji's arms and kisses him longingly.

"Renji..." the boy whispers his eyes fluttering into a form of sleep.

"Yes strawberry..." the man says kissing his forehead, his strong arms wrapped around the boy protectively.

"I love you..." the boy closes his eyes and kisses the red head as he relaxes into his arms "thank you for tonight..."

Renji smiles as the boy rests his head on his chest, he kisses his forehead softly and holds him close, he glances at the door amazed that the two have been left alone for so long. He rests his head against the boys hair and smiles to himself. Just as he begins to fall into a light sleep his cell phone rings, he answers it quickly so as not to disturb his love.

"Your late Renji, we need you in Soul Society" the voice yells down the phone.

"Yes... I know... I lost track on the time, I'm on my way..." Renji puts the phone down and looks at Ichigo, he frowns to himself as he lays the boy on the bed and hunts the floor silently for his clothes. Once his clothes have been found he puts them on and writes a quick note leaving it on Ichigo's bedside table, he kisses the boys forehead, as guilt consumes him he jumps out of the window and heads to Urahara's and back to Soul Society.

A few hours later Ichigo wakes up alone and in slight pain. He looks around for his lover and frowns when he cannot see him, he notices the note on his bedside table and opens it.

"Strawberry... Gomen ne, I had to leave, soul society needed me, I know you need me but this is important... gomen ne... I'm an idiot... I love you... I will see you soon..."

Ichigo pulls his knees to his chest. "Baka... how could you do this to me!" He covers his face with his hands and cries to himself.


	2. Chapter 2

Several years have passed since the day that Renji left his love asleep in bed so he could go and help in soul society. The reasons still unclear in the boys head.

Every tap on the window makes Ichigo's heart flutter, one day there was a tap on the window was the love of his life, Renji. The long red hair blowing in the wind as the man looks through the window. Ichigo glances at the familiar face of the window, the young boy now in his early 20's, he opens the window letting the red head into his room. The two men just look at each other, the changes in their face, the tiredness in Renji's eyes and the joy in his face as he looks at his only love, they look at each other uncertainty in the air as they just look at each other. Slowly Ichigo opens his mouth to speak.

"Renji... is it really you?" Ichigo stammers putting his hand to Renji's face. Renji leans into Ichigo's hand before receiving a slap. "How dare you leave like that?! You didn't even let me know you were alive! Do you know what that did to me?" Gently Ichigo kisses Renji's lips, Renji's shocked expression fading slightly as he draws the man close to him. "Thank you for coming back.."

"Strawberry... I'm so sorry... I couldn't get away, I had to stay..." Renji runs his fingers down the mans side looking into his eyes, wrapping his arms around his waist tightly.

"I needed you..." Ichigo looks into the taller mans eyes.

"I know you did strawberry, that's why I came back... I love you my sweet berry."

"Five years Renji... You left me like that for five years... how can you say you love me now?" the strawberry pulls back slightly still wanting to be near to Renji but wishing to show his anger.

"I'm sorry! How many times must I say it before you believe me?" Renji looks to the younger man. "Please forgive me.."

Just as Renji gets his last words out his mouth Ichigo's door bursts open, his father running into his room, he glances at the two men, who still have their arms around each other. Ichigo just looks at his father and then the floor. Yuzu follows her father into her bother room yelling something about "personal space" and "suspicious" to her father. She looks at her brother and the red head, remembering all those years ago when she walked in on the two, she smiles to herself and looks at her fathers expression. Ichigo pulls away from Renji and looks at his family.

"You remember Renji..." Ichigo says quietly "Dad, Yuzu, Renji came back... You remember what I said when he left?" Ichigo looks at his father for some support, Mr Kurosaki makes his way to Renji and puts his hand firmly on his shoulder before speaking in a hushed voice.

"Renji... You ever hurt my son again and I will be your worst nightmare!" he smiles and applies mild pressure to the red heads shoulder before looking at his son. "Ichi boy your dinners ready, your 'guest' can come down too..." with that Mr Kurosaki walks from the boys room, a giggling teenager following him, muttering something about"love at first sight" and "happy times".

Ichigo takes a hold on Renji's hand, he smiles slightly and tilts his head as if to ask if they should leave and giving a mild explanation as to what he was talking about.

"My dad asked why I was so upset so I told him everything, how I felt about you, how much I enjoyed you being here and how we would be together when you came back in a few days... But you didn't come back did you Renji...You left me depressed and on my own. I loved you Renji... that will never change..." he kisses the red head deeply and pulls him close. "My family know Renji, do you know how much I love you now?" the boy looks into the red heads eyes, a glimmer of shock in his eyes as he smiles.

"Ichi... you... I love you so much..." he kisses the younger man before looking at the door.

"If you love me... Never leave me... Please Renji... Never go back there..." Ichigo looks into Renji's eyes almost begging him.

Renji looks down and takes Ichigo's hand leading him downstairs for dinner as if to avoid telling Ichigo something. Ichigo's family watch the two men as they sit at the table, Yuzu sits with her boyfriend at the table. Karin, glances at her sister and her brother, she sighs and dishes out the dinner. Sitting in silence the family just glance at each other occasionally. Ichigo glances at his lover wanting for Renji to tell him that he will love him forever and never leave him.

Renji's soul pager beeps, Ichigo glances at Renji as he excuses himself from the table and leaves Ichigo follows him, after changing into a Shinigami. As the two arrive they see two hollows, much bigger and stronger than a typical. Renji orders Ichigo to stay back and charges at one of the hollows, he successfully cuts through the hollows mask and charges at the second only to be thrown back against a wall, as he slides to the bottom of the wall Ichigo charges at the hollow with his Zanpakuto, he cuts through the hollows mask and stands in front of Renji. He glares at the man and walks away from him.

"Teme!" yells the strawberry as he heads home leaving Renji alone. As he turns away he walks into Rukia. "Rukia?! What are you doing here?" Ichigo stammers.

"I came to find Renji.." the girl replies with slight hesitation.

"Renji?! Why do you need Renji now?!" yells the strawberry. "He just got back! Don't you dare say he needs to go again!"

"Ichi... why do you care so much? He cannot stay here... he is no longer permitted to be in the living world..."

"He... what!?" Ichigo tilts his head "and how do you mean why do I care?!" growls the boy "I care more than you will ever know!" with that he walks to Renji. "Why cant you be here?! Why didn't you tell me before Teme!"

Renji hangs his head looking at the ground, he draws in a breath and looks back up at his strawberry. Ichigo glares at Renji but when he notices a tear rolling down Renji's cheek his anger fades and he kneels by the other man wrapping his arms around him in a close embrace.

"You can't leave me again Renji... I need you, now more than ever.."

"Strawberry you know if it was my choice I would be here with you forever..." sobs the red head "but like you just said... I cant be here... I spent my last time here... with you! Isn't that worth remembering?" he looks into Ichigo's eyes as tears stream down his face. "I need you too... but you belong in this world and I belong in soul society... forget about me Berry..." Renji stands and wipes his face of tears when he sees Rukia walking towards him.

"Renji... Lets go now..." Rukia says quietly looking at the tall man.

"Rukia... I can't go... not right now... I need to stay longer, I will be here for up to a month!" he looks at Rukia and raises an eyebrow.

"Oh... Gomen ne... But whatever is keeping you here can't be worth that much can it?" with that Rukia takes off.

Renji wraps his arms around his strawberry and kisses his forehead.

"I may not have forever love but we now have a month at the most, your family know so we can be open here, a week Berry... think of it..."

"No! Renji... I can't do this! I can't have a week with you for you to take off and leave me when you HAVE too... You never HAVE to... If you love me stay..." Ichigo shakes his head and run towards his house.

Renji chases after Ichigo, when he catches up he pulls the young man into his arms and kisses his forehead.

"Ichigo... No matter what... I choose you... over everything..." he holds the younger man close as he sobs. "If it means so much to you... I will over run my limit to stay here... I will go back and tell them I'm staying here... to be with you..." Renji holds the young man close "now lets get you home.."

Renji leads the man back to the house in silence, hand in hand they glance at the ground as they walk. Thoughts spinning in Renji's head as to how to tell his love the truth after all of these years. Eventually they enter the house and move to the bedroom. Renji wraps his arms around the younger man and sighs softly.

"Strawberry... I need to tell you something..." Renji begins.

"Renji... what is it?" Ichigo looks up at the red head.

"I love you... I cannot stay here... when I leave I can never come back... I have become a Captain... that's why I was called away Berry... I'm a Captain... I want you to come to soul society with me... be with me.. forever..." Ichigo looks at Renji and shakes his head

"Renji... I can't not right now... my life here isn't over..." Ichigo looks at the ground.

"No... berry think about it.. Kon can be in your body and you can come back when you like I will give you all the permission you need... tell your father and your friends and then we can go... Kon will take care of everything.." Renji kisses the young man "Please... think about it..."

Renji kisses down Ichigo's neck and runs his hands down the mans back kissing his way to his mouth. Ichigo pulls Renji close kissing him longingly, he smiles and pushes him onto the bed kissing his shoulder softly. Renji wraps his arms around the man and kisses his forehead as Ichigo relaxes into his arms.

A few days later Renji and Ichigo make preparations to leave for soul society, Ichigo tells his father where he is going and tells him Kon will be using his body until he returns, swearing that he will return soon he hugs his sisters and shakes his fathers hand. That day Ichigo and Renji leave for soul society together.

Renji shows Ichigo to his quarters, the two men lay together in bed, Renji kisses Ichigo's head and smiles softly, he kisses Ichigo passionately.

"I'm so pleased you chose to come here.." Renji whispers into the boys ear as he kisses his cheek softly.

"I'll do anything to be with you...I love you Renji..."

"I love you too... I'm pleased you will do anything to be with me... Because now your here with me... things can never go back..."


End file.
